http://ryansean.tumblr.com/

"Za Ba Bee"

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 23:56:10 +1100

“Za Ba Bee”

- Adrian Winters

Set List

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:09:46 +1100

Taking a little break at the moment, working out some form of set list, don’t know how final it will be but it will be nice to have some structure and rutine to our rehearsals.

Trying to work out whats going on with my voice, it isnt holding up to well… No idea if the air conditioning has something to do with it but it’s pretty frustrating for me… I mean if i cant hold my own now, how am I suposed to last in a sweaty pub? I don’t know, just a little insecure at the moment. Back to work!

Little Update

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:36:44 +1100

So I know I’m being slack yet again with updates but in my defence I’ve been busy… Though now I’ve finally got my BlackBerry working again, I’ll be able to update allot more.
Hubba Hubba

Tegan and Sara - Sainthood Tegan and Sara’s new album...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 10:43:00 +1100

Tegan and Sara - Sainthood

Tegan and Sara’s new album Sainthood came out this week, pretty amazing… I mean in my eyes they can do no wrong, a little different from The Con but thats what I love about Tegan and Sara, they keep evolving their sound. Go and get it.

I know I’ve been slack with updates… Tomorrow I’ll start posting regularly again.

Changed Hair Colour Today, and got my septum pierced.

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:25:00 +1000

Changed Hair Colour Today, and got my septum pierced.

"Me telling you I was scared was me screaming for help…"

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 23:55:41 +1000

“Me telling you I was scared was me screaming for help…”

- Thanks for nothing I guess

A few more shots from last weeks shoot.

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:39:19 +1000

A few more shots from last weeks shoot.

Take only what you need?

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:47:07 +1000

I don’t know how I feel right now to be honest, yesterday should have been amazing, it should have been everything I wanted and hoped for, I thought I deserved that. Uh apparently not, I missed out on the job, my dream job.

I actually had the job, if I went in when I was originally meant to, things never really go to plan though, I mean, I ask a favor… I’d say a small favor but I guess that really depends on who you ask, asking the favor is one thing and people saying ‘yeah I will help you’ but having people follow through is another thing I guess, I probably sound like I am bitching people out and no, I am not doing that… At all. The thing is, I am feeling really shattered and really low, that’s all it comes down to really, I’ve been let down too many times lately and the truth is I’m so drained from it all… Its exhausting, especially after working so hard with no recognition, I don’t expect recognition… But this time I really thought I deserved a little and was so proud of myself.

Having no sleep adds to this… Heightened emotions. I wanted to sleep all day, productive I know, and, I couldn’t even do that. So I’ve had 4 hours sleep and have been sitting around feeling like shit all day. I know. I sound dramatic, honestly I can’t help it though… This is something I really wanted and deserved…

This is something I wont get over easily…

Just some of the shots that were printed… Today is going...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 10:40:00 +1000

Just some of the shots that were printed…

Today is going to be an amazing day, I can feel it.

I deserve this.

Feel.

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 15:40:00 +1000

3.40pm

Even though I have finished the main bulk of these shots, there is still so much work to be done getting my book ready and sorted for my interview Tuesday. I’m starting to get both nervous and excited, I think I have a really good chance with it all and honestly I’d be so stoked if I got this job, so many worries will be lifted… I’d actually be genuinely happy for once. Dream job at 25.

Still a long day ahead of me, no time for rest.

8am… No Sleep. Ready to get shots printed today, still...

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 07:40:00 +1000

8am… No Sleep. Ready to get shots printed today, still not completely done though

Alone?

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 17:40:00 +1000

I finally got that sleep I was dreaming of, not by choice though. I have to say thanks though, no one has really hurt me that bad in a long time, thanks for reminding me why I dont trust and rely on people… Mostly though, thanks for reminding me of how alone I really am. Sure that sounds cynical, I know that… but what do you expect. I do everything for people, lets face it, if it were you who needed me last night I would have been there. Even with all this work, I would have made the time for you… It was only an hour.

I’ve accepted it though… And the scars? Well they will always remind me.

Thus ends my vent, back to work… Dont hate me.

"Take me back to where I’m from For me, there’s nothing more…"

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 15:40:00 +1000

“Take me back to where I’m from
For me, there’s nothing more…”

I miss you so much.

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 16:40:00 +1000

Been trying so hard to stay productive and keep my eye on the job but that’s a little hard when I have a million other things going on at once… And it’s not like I really ask for much, all I wanted was some time alone to work and a little time to chill out with mates but looks like once again, I miss out. Sounds dramatic I know but it’s true, I drop everything for people and it’s like right now no-one will even give me half an hour of their time. Makes me fucking angry to be honest.

I dunno, I just need some time to decompress and not worry… Tomorrow is going to be insanely hard. Fathers Day… Fathers Day without my Nonno. I’m getting all anxious just thinking about it. I try not to talk about the negatives with him not being around anymore, I try to remember the positives and reminisce about all the good times and there are so many, but, right now it hurts. It hurts like hell not having him around doing something random and quirky making me smile… Is that selfish? It’s going to be really tough but I’m sure my friends will be great and I know Adrian will chill for a bit and make me laugh and cheer me up.

I miss you Nonno <3

Photo

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:45:00 +1000

Like I expected, no sleep, been sitting in this same position now for way too long. Working hard...

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 04:40:00 +1000

Like I expected, no sleep, been sitting in this same position now for way too long. Working hard though which is good and I mean it isn’t completely bad, I’ve been getting through all my new music I haven’t had a chance to listen to since I got it all and the pictures I’m editing are turning out great… So I really shouldn’t complain.

I’m still managing to make time for people too, though it’s kind of frustrating, only because I know how much work I have ahead of me and I’m so worried it all wont get done in time. I have a really good feeling about this though.

Fingers crossed… Now, time for some sleep.

7:57PM I need a break, dinner, some more Red Bull and a...

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:55:00 +1000

7:57PM

I need a break, dinner, some more Red Bull and a hug…

Work, work, work...

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 05:01:00 +1000

5:01AM

Two days of photoshoots, been pretty good actually, I think I work well under pressure… Now comes the fun part or editing the photos. No sleep for me I guess, I feel pretty exhausted actually without sounding dramatic, I mean sure all I did was take the photos, if anyone should feel exhausted it should be Adrian… He did an amazing job, though acording to him, all he did was stand there, but, then again he doesnt really take compliments too well… Little shit… In all seriousness though he did do a really awesome job in helping me these past few days and I apreciate it so much.

My eyes are hardly focusing, it’s kinda lame especially when my bed is so close just begging for me to climb into it and get a good seven or eight hours sleep but unfortunately that isnt going to happen, for a few days at least. I really need to get these edits done and printed. Though right now I’m taking a little break for a slice of pizza. It’s good having something to keep me busy and keep my mind off the obvious, well the obvious to me, you probably don’t have the faintest idea what I am on about. This slice of pizza is pretty epic though…

Thanks again for helping me… Your kind of amazing.

Swam loves you.

Photo

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 04:40:00 +1000

"Wide as the rivers run Still got time for someone Be my embrace now"

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 16:48:49 +1000

“Wide as the rivers run
Still got time for someone
Be my embrace now”